24-year-old girlfriend refuses to pay for boyfriend’s dinner when he’s low on cash, his friend’s overhear and mock him for “not wearing the pants”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Apr 6, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Gender norms and stereotypes have been around since the beginning of time. Don't you think early Neanderthals and cavemen were also judging women for their looks, or if they're dainty enough, while women were gossiping over who was the most robust and muscular of the men in their tribe and community? Of course, these norms had to start from something, but that's hardly to say that it means we have to perpetuate them in our modern, educated, and technological society of 2025. 

Whether you're all in for traditional practices and customs, thinking the man always has to pay and open the door, and that the woman is a docile, innocent creature only there to look pretty and be taken care of, discussing gender norms can be an interesting thought experiment. It also begs the question as to what defines a quality as being masculine, and what defines a quality as being feminine. 

Read the story below for more gender norm talk. 

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  • 01

    AITAH for Refusing to Pay for My Boyfriend’s “Bro Night” After He Put Me on the Spot?

    "He's a grown man, not a child"
    via andresr from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    So, I (24F) have been dating my boyfriend (26M) for about a year. He's super into his weekly "bro nights” with his friends, which I totally support. I usually just chill at home, do my own thing, no problem.
    via u/Crazy-Dependent-1327
  • 03
    This past Friday, we were out grabbing dinner when his friends called, asking him to come over for poker and drinks. He said sure and then, right in front of them, turned to me and went, "Babe, you got this, right?" Meaning the bill.
    via u/Crazy-Dependent-1327
  • 04
    I was caught off guard but figured, whatever, I'll cover dinner. But then he added, "And can you send me some money for drinks? I'm kinda low on cash"
    via u/Crazy-Dependent-1327
  • 05
    At this point, his friends were laughing and hyping him up like, "Yeah, take care of your man!" | felt super awkward but just said "Nope, I think you got it."
    via u/Crazy-Dependent-1327
  • 06
    He got quiet, paid for his half, and left. Later, he texted saying I embarrassed him in front of his friends and that I made him look like he "doesn't wear the pants" in the relationship.
    via u/Crazy-Dependent-1327
  • 07
    I told him I'm happy to treat him sometimes, but I don't like being put on the spot, especially when it's for him to go out without me. Now he's sulking, and his friends are apparently joking about how he "lost his sponsor" AITAH for standing my ground?
    via u/Crazy-Dependent-1327
  • 08
    Cheezburger Image 10490434560
    via RestaurantAnticaRoma from pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Fit_History_842 If he wants to "wear the pants" he can start by paying for dinner.
    via u/Fit_History_842
  • 10
    bo... It wasn't about putting you on the spot. It was about him showing off that he can order you around like you are inferior to him. If he thinks treating his girlfriend like sh, and putting her down in front of others is a
    via u/boundaries4546
  • 11
    flex kindly consider getting a new boyfriend, yours is defective.
    via u/boundaries4546
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 10490434816
    via Petar Chernaev from Getty Images Signature / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 13
    joe-lefty500 Your reaction was perfectly acceptable. Your bf is trying to show his friends how much of a doormat you are. You showed all of them you're not. NTA
    via u/joe-lefty500

  • If being feminine means having characteristics that are inactive, passive, or slower, then doesn’t that mean there are feminine qualities in men too? And if a man is supposed to be assertive, active, and dominant, are there not times a woman has to or chooses to be in that state?

  • 14
    random_lady420 He is a joke... Run!!!
    via u/random_lady420
  • 15
    Cybermagetx Nta. Anyone who does that on the spot to look better infront of their friends will be dropped by me. If youre that immature, youre not mature enough to date me.
    via u/Cybermagetx
  • 16
    Due-Aioli-6641 Haha. If he "wears the pants" shouldn't he be responsible for funding everything? Aren't pants wearing people the ones who handle all the money?
    via u/Due-Aioli-6641
  • 17
    NTA. Not sure what his game was, but good for you for sticking up for yourself.
    via u/Due-Aioli-6641
  • 18
    Regular_Boot_3540 What is he, your sugar baby? No way. He can pay for his own entertainment. Don't encourage this scrounging/mooching behavior. NTA.
    via u/Regular_Boot_3540
  • 19
    Only_Music_2640 Why are you with him? He embarrasses you in front of his friends, uses you as an ATM then berates you for not caving and giving him money. Does he ever pick up the tab?
    via u/Only_Music_2640
  • 20
    MaxwellPillMill If your gonna wear pants keep a wallet in it bro.
    via u/MaxwellPillMill
  • 21
    Elladuskk NTA. He's a grown man, not a child. He tried to use u as an ATM in front of his friends. Good riddance.
    via u/Elladuskk
  • 22
    AsparagusOverall8... If he can't pay for his own sh, he don't wear any pants cuz he's a broke loser.
    via u/AsparagusOverall8454

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